Cilly Goose Teaches Swimming (Vintage Comic Stories Series Book 18)
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Pluto was considered at one point to be included to help Donald with his job. He claims to have discovered a lost world of prehistoric creatures, and to have beaten King Kong in feats of strength. This proposed Donald Duck short was, in theory, an alternative story to the finished cartoon "Straight Shooters". Tortured by heat and thirst, they trek across the barren terrain in search of water.
They encounter various mirages, including a group of Lorelei ducks lounging by a swimming pool. One of the girls sips a cool drink and beckons to them. While Donald investigates, Gus, with the aid of his lucky derby hat, discovers a strange capricious laughing spring and is able to quench his thirst. Donald tries to trap the elusive water, but is unable to get a drop.
Chasing the little thief, he runs afoul of the walrus' giant father. When Donald tries to placate papa walrus with a fish, the baby walrus steals it. As part of the nightmare Pete appears and attacks Mickey. This version of the film's plot came about when the Mickey and Donald story failed to materialize. Mickey is a servant, where he and Pluto clean Minnie Mouse's garden. When Mickey tries to placate papa walrus with a fish, the baby walrus steals it. Pluto has to fight the robot to regain control of the household. The story begins when a wayward Christian missionary monk accidentally lands on the island and sees the great auks as a sort of Greek pre-Christian pagan society.
Partially blind, he mistakes the animals for people and baptizes them. The plot was considered too thin, as it was one of two cartoons to be merged into the released cartoon "Put-Put Troubles". Some of the "paintings" in this unmade short feature Donald in various classic artworks. Goofy asks for his doctor's tools as he bandages an unseen "patient" Donald and Goofy struggle to dope trees with laughing gas while various forest animals fight back.
Eventually, Donald and Goofy inhale the laughing gas themselves, leading to a dizzy ballet around the woods and a bad fall for Donald into some poison ivy. Donald needs the next round of Goofy's bandages. The genie of the lamp continually shocks Mickey and his friends in the real world.
At one point, story was considered for upgrading to a feature film project. Elements of this unmade project were saved for a Donald Duck comic book story in which Donald finds pirate gold. However, Goldwyn ended up selling the rights to Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer in and two years later, the company released their own version of The Wizard of Oz. Feature film Alice in Wonderland A second attempt to produce an animated film adaptation based on the novel of the same name written by Lewis Carroll.
A script and some storyboards were made by David Hall, as well as a Leica reel , but the project never materialized due to World War II. Also, the live-action remake contains some elements of the scrapped film. The tables are turned when Pete accidentally knocks down a pillar supporting the second story of his saloon and must hold up a heavy safe to keep from being crushed.
Mickey Mouse "Men in Uniform" Mickey is a milkman who is foiled by a small kitten. He is a constant embarrassment to his parents and he does not have any friends. Duck" Donald is a tree surgeon. The plot is very similar to the earlier "Tree Surgeon". The plot of this film is very similar to "The Winged Scourge". He has become obsessed with books of chivalry, and believes their every word to be true, despite the fact that many of the events in them are clearly impossible.
Quixano eventually appears to other people to have lost his mind from little sleep and food, and so much reading. He decides to become a knight-errant , and with his fat, food-loving, squire Sancho Panza , sets out on an hilarious misadventure. The dog detective in "Inspector Bones" was a direct parody of Basil Rathbone 's role in the Sherlock Holmes films , which were very popular in the s. Inspector Bones and Dr.
The story features many Tex Avery -style self-referential jokes, and many who see them now think the project was an odd one for Disney of the early s. To escape Pete's wrath, he takes off in the tank, crashing through the officer's mess and separating a general from his T-bone steak. Donald's problems are compounded when an experimental television monitor inside the tank is activated, and he confuses its telecast for scenes of the passing terrain.
Straying across the French line, he spoils a surprise attack on Adolf Hitler's Panzer division. She steals the plans and escapes in a motorboat, but Donald is right behind her, his foot tangled in a rope attached to the boat's stern. An admiral looking suspiciously like the later Junior Woodchuck troop commander makes a brief appearance. Goofy "How to Be a Cowboy" A projected "how-to' short featuring Goofy as the chief cowboy on a dude ranch.
Elements of this story ended up in Saludos Amigos. He mistakes a wineskin for his home. This story was supposed to be either a featurette or short. It also starred Jiminy Cricket and Daisy. It consisted mostly of gags where the worst soldier in the army constantly fouls things up. This might be an alternate version of "Education for Death". This was considered to be extended into a feature film project at one point. The short was proposed after plans for a feature film adaptation fell apart.
Biography film The Tales of Hans Christian Andersen The film was intended to be a co-production with Samuel Goldwyn, who also wanted to produce a film based on Andersen's life. It was decided at some point that part of the film would be shot in live action, with animated segments depicting some of Andersen's tales. Frustrated over the game, Donald throws a tantrum. The next night, he cannot get the game out of his head. Pencil tests for this proposed short still exist.
This time, the Disney animators set it around Richard Strauss ' tone poem. The segments would have included: "Brazilian Rhapsody", an extended version of what would later become "Blame it on the Samba", released as part of Melody Time in ; "The Laughing Gauchito" featuring the character first seen in "The Three Caballeros," who learns he has the ability to shatter glass with his laugh. He becomes a star, but his fame ends when his voice deepens as he becomes a man; "San Blas Boy" is about a boy named Chico and his dog Kiki, who are lost in a storm.
This may have been one of the earliest attempts to merge animation and live action on screen in a feature film. Little is known about the plot. This story was dropped from production for unknown reasons. It was eventually dropped because the cost involved would have been too high. At the time, there had been a slate of combination pictures with the box office, each being less than its predecessor.
This proposed feature was considered to be taken in a similar direction as Fantasia : artistic but contradictory. It would feature a single story line. Mickey Mouse "The Talking Dog" Pluto gets roped into becoming a ventriloquist's dummy in a circus sideshow. When Mickey figures out that his dog is missing, he starts looking for him and finds him in the hands of Pete. Mickey battles Pete to get Pluto back. Some animation that was done on this short was dropped.
It was animated for a pencil test. When Donald is away at lunch, the radio announces a plague of rats is loose in the city. Scrooge closes and shutters all of his windows and bolts the door. He sits down, terrified, to eat his cheese sandwich but, before he can begin, he is besieged by a determined rat who has smelled the cheese from afar. At one point, Mickey Mouse was considered to be included in the plot. One by one they leave their homes and set out together. They decide to go to Bremen , known for its freedom, to live without owners and become musicians.
He is an embarrassment to his parents and hasn't any friends. This is basically the same plot as the "Hootsie the Owl" short proposed in , but with the addition of a snake character, similar to Kaa in The Jungle Book. When the time had come to green-light the project, the studio leaders decided to approve The Rescuers for production.
In , director Wolfgang "Woolie" Reitherman decided to adapt it into an animated feature following the release of The Fox and the Hound , but studio management felt the project was too similar to Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Also, they wanted the animation department to produce more ambitious films such as The Black Cauldron.
In , the book was adapted into the Japanese animated film Mary and the Witch's Flower by Studio Ponoc as their first film. Following several treatments, it was never greenlit for production, and Disney dropped its option on the books. However, in , Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers was released, but it was unrelated to the earlier project. Animators Glen Keane and John Lasseter who later moved on to Pixar completed a test film blending traditionally animated characters with computer-generated settings, but the project proceeded no further.
White novel. While Roy E. Disney supported the project, Jeffrey Katzenberg disliked it. Eventually, Hale and most of the team were fired, and the project languished. However, the idea never fully materialized. Winnie the Pooh Untitled Winnie the Pooh film When one of her novels came to the attention of a Disney executive, Linda Woolverton was hired to work on several animated projects including one involving Winnie the Pooh , though it was later shelved once The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh aired. They enlist in the Navy and go to boot camp with Pete as their exasperated drill instructor.
After they put to sea, they encounter a submarine full of the Beagle Boys , who all speak a Russian-sounding gibberish. The entire film was storyboarded and recorded, and an animatic was created. Complete model sheets of all of the characters were printed, and layouts and some animation had begun before the project came to an abrupt halt. The film, which previously went by the working title, Roger Rabbit Two: The Toon Platoon , was set in during the Second World War , and would have had Roger Rabbit and Baby Herman going on a journey through the perils of the war in search of Roger's birth parents in the Americas.
It would have been a direct-to-video musical film. It is unrelated to the released DreamWorks Animation film of the same title. The film's writers could not decide what to do about the Native Americans that Columbus would encounter in the New World. It was canceled after pre-production ended and before production could begin, and was replaced in the gap with a rerun of Rollercoaster Rabbit.
A sequel to the original Roger Rabbit film , planned as either direct-to-video or a theatrical feature-length film sequel. It would be the third movie of the Roger Rabbit series. Jack and the Beanstalk was written by Peter Tolan and George Carlin was cast in an unspecified role, but it never went pass post-production. Veteran story artists Joe Grant and Burny Mattinson developed the first act through storyboards, but following a twenty-minute pitch meeting, the executives were reluctant to approve the pitch.
In the fall of , Roy E. Disney watched a work-in-progress screening and was appalled by the film's adult humor that he immediately ordered production to be shut down. The plot was to follow Dumbo and his circus friends who navigate through a large city after being left behind by their traveling circus and trying to find their way home. It was also supposed to explain what happened to Dumbo's father. In , the project was placed on hold after Joe Grant found the computer-animated test footage for the film to be lackluster.
In , the project was placed back into production, but was cancelled by John Lasseter a year later after being named Creative Creative Officer. Hercules is now living in Athens with Megara and their daughter, Hebe. However, when an old friend named Helen is captured by the evil Paris of Troy , Hercules joins the united Greek army as they head out to war. However, this war will create revelations, and Hercules finds an old friend who eventually goes missing. The gargoyle then transports her to Central Park where other gargoyles have convened with other children from troubled families.
It was developed by Eric Goldberg and his wife, Sue, and it was pitched to then-Feature Animation president Thomas Schumacher who rejected it feeling a satirical animated feature would not be popular with audiences. One day, the emperor receives a mechanical bird that can sing and dance, and he devotes his attention to the toy bird. Neglected and ignored, the nightingale flies away. Some time passes and the mechanical bird breaks down. The emperor, never realizing the treasure he had in his nightingale, pines for the melodious songs of the nightingale. One day, the nightingale returns to the palace and the emperor promises to never neglect it again.
Willem Dafoe was set to voice Ironbeard. The sequel was canceled when Treasure Planet disappointed at the box office. They are both from two rival families in Appalachia during the late s. A group of mountain spirits inhabiting folk art dolls do what they can to bring the two of them together.
Due to creative reasons, production was ultimately shut down in late , along with the Florida studio. Disney, once he recognized the project as Disney's "baby". In Uncle Stiltskin , the fabled aspiring babynapper Rumplestiltskin again tries to fulfill his dream of being a father but, this time, he discovers the true meaning of family. Based on the children's novel of the same name by Eva Ibbotson , the project tells of a fantasy adventure in which a magical wizard realizes that before he retires, he must find a wife. He holds a contest in which all the world's witches compete by performing their most outrageous spells.
In , Disney entered negotiations with Woodall to acquire the film rights in hopes of producing an animated adaptation.
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The plot revolved on T. However, plans to release both titles on DVD were ultimately scrapped for unknown reasons, and the original trailer for them can be found on several Disney DVDs and on YouTube. Popper's Penguins Based on the novel of the same name, the project was developed under Joe Grant where Eisner and Stainton wanted the project to be set in contemporary New York, in which Grant contested.
It starred Jim Carrey and Carla Gugino in the lead roles and received mixed reviews from critics but was a box office success. It was to center on a dilemma for one of Pooh's friends, but it was never pitched. After he's gone, they find out the company has issued a massive recall. At the same time, Buzz meets other toys from around the world that has been recalled, including several Transformers toys. Monsters, Inc. After getting trapped in the human world, Mike and Sulley split up after disagreeing on what to do.
It would have involved Nemo's long lost twin brother named Remy, then Marlin gets captured so its up to Nemo, Remy, and Dory to save him. Eleven years later Pixar made their own sequel, Finding Dory , in The plans were eventually dropped altogether, and proposed segments from that abandoned film were instead produced and released as individual stand-alone Disney animated shorts. Over the course of the film, Shere Khan regrets his hatred against humanity because of his capture, and eventually reforms, It would have been released on July 18,  but the project never materialized due to two reasons: the critical and commercial failure of The Jungle Book 2 and John Lasseter being named chief executive officer of Walt Disney Animation Studios.
However, she and her family must soon take on a jewel thief on the open seas. The proposed project didn't go through, and the planned series was ultimately canceled.
They eventually found each other and prevented the extinction of their newt race. It was planned to be released in , but it was delayed to In March , in an interview, Pixar president Ed Catmull stated that Newt was an idea that was not working in pre-production. When the project was passed to Pete Docter , he pitched an idea that Pixar thought was better.
Disney could not afford the rights to the film, so it was scrapped. Disney canceled the project due to the box-office failure of the Zemeckis-produced motion capture film Mars Needs Moms and aesthetic concerns about the technology. Dick , it was originally directed by Aaron Blaise and Robert Walker, and scheduled for a Christmas release. Nice , creators Kevin Deters and Stevie Wermers -Skelton stated that there were plans for a fourth entry in the series, but that they could not reveal any more about the project. The Hollywood Reporter stated that the seventh film was cancelled due to story problems.
On January 14, , Docter stated that a sequel is possible, and that he and Pixar will explore ideas, saying: "We'll see if anything turns up. To me it's not as simple as: 'We liked it, so let's make another one. So we'll explore it and see what happens. In a July interview, Pixar president Jim Morris said that while demand for a sequel is high, the company has committed its resources to several original movie concepts from June 7, , onward, and that no sequels to any of Pixar's other films, including Inside Out, were being contemplated at this time.
Feature film Gigantic Based on the English folk tale " Jack and the Beanstalk ", the story was set in Spain, in which Jack befriends a female giant. The project would have been set for release on November 25, , but it was shelved in October during development due to creative difficulties. The film had a release date of April 12, The Disney That Never Was. New York: Disney Editions. Mickey and the Gang. New York: Gemstone Publishing. Retrieved South of Border with Disney. Archived from the original on October 19, Retrieved February 28, Jim Hill Media.
Retrieved April 11, They complain about the heat and humidity. They warn you about the long lines and large crowds. They whine about the drudgery of dragging kids through the parks.
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One person actually warned me about how annoyingly happy everyone will be. Sadly, these awful, negative jackasses outnumber the folks who are excited for us by at least What is wrong with these people? How awful and dreary must your life be to denigrate Disney World to an excited parent? How stupid and sad must you be to listen to a smiling, happy father talk about how excited he is to bring his kids to the Magic Kingdom and then spend the next ten minutes warning him about the heat?
These are probably the same rotten souls who tell glowing, pregnant women how challenging and impossible parenting will be. Probably the same sad sacks who spend most of the Christmas season complaining about the crowds and shopping. If you are one of these people who thinks that warning parents about the pitfalls of Disney World is a good idea, STOP. Also, no one wants to hear it.
That would just be mean. Take a lesson from my daughter. She gets it. Each month I review the progress of my yearly goals and report on that progress as a means of holding myself accountable. Since we have reached the halfway point in the year, I also like to take a step back and assess the likelihood of me completing each goal. Along with bananas, grapes, apples, and pears, I also ate carrots, onions, potatoes, an assortment of vegetables in various soups, and an arugula and fig pizza.
Do at least push-ups, sit-ups, and 3 one-minute planks for five days a week. I did burpees per day, 3 times each week in June. My shoulder hurts. I blame the stupid burpees. Regrettably so. Complete my seventh novel before the end of Still waiting for a go-ahead from my editor regarding my next book. This is the problem with being two books ahead. I like one very much. Work continues.
This helped a lot. Submit one or more short stories to at least three publishing outlets. Select three behaviors that I am opposed to and adopt them for one week, then write about my experiences on the blog. I read that smiling when you wake up can be very beneficial. Supposed health benefits include:. When you smile your body releases the feel-good neurotransmitters dopamine and endorphins. In addition, when you smile your mood is further lifted by the release of serotonin.
This is all supposed to happen even if your smile is forced. Increase my storytelling newsletter subscriber base to 3, My list now stands at 2, subscribers. Write at least six letters to my father. One written so far this year.
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Five letters written in June. I have a lot of writing to do this summer. Convert Greetings Little One into a book. A kind, generous, and amazing human being has begun work on this project. Produce a total of 10 Speak Up storytelling events.
We began selling tee shirts and totes at our live podcast recording. Pitch myself to at least 5 upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one. Attend at least 15 Moth events with the intention of telling a story. Produce at least 40 episodes of our new podcast Speak Up Storytelling. Four new shows released in June. A total of 24 so far. Listen to our latest here or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Perform stand up at least four times in Pitch at least three stories to This American Life.
I wrote to Marc early in January, asking for him to consider me as a guest. Host a fundraiser for RIP Medical Debt, which would allow us to relieve the medical debt of struggling Americans for pennies on the dollar. We received our estimate from the painters.
Depending on other expenses, we will likely be painting several rooms this summer or fall, at which point things can be hung on the walls. No progress. Summertime project that should commence soon. Cook at least 12 good meals averaging one per month in Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse. Ride my bike with my kids at least 25 times in I rode my bike with Charlie one time in June for a total of six rides so far.
I will not comment, positively or negatively, about physical appearance of any person save my wife and children, in in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall. I did not comment on physical appearance with the exception of my wife and children in June. Surprise Elysha at least six times in Two surprises were set into motion in May, but neither has come to fruition yet.
One of my friends just ruined a surprise that I had planned for today. Replace the 12 ancient, energy-inefficient windows in our home with new windows that will keep the cold out and actually open in the warmer months.
Incremental progress. Every week I throw away or organize a few items. The results are beginning to show, not so much in my scores this weekend but in my swing and understanding of how I should be swinging. Play poker at least six times in A game was scheduled and canceled in June. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 25 years.
Bengi and I spent a Sunday afternoon playing board games at a local hobby shop in June. Post my progress in terms of these resolutions on this blog on the first day of every month. That bootcamp is already sold out. Remarkably, the roster includes two folks from China, one from British Columbia, one from San Diego, and one from Illinois. And a lot of pressure. The next day, a piece on Latestly. No wonder why he has not actual friends. Can you imagine spending time with someone who talks like this?
People all over the world are laughing at you, Donald. Laughing at your sad, desperate need for attention and praise," commented noted author Matthew Dicks. If you want to learn about storytelling and have an opportunity to practice, I'll be teaching weekend-long beginners and advanced storytelling workshops at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Heath this fall in Stockbridge, MA. Two full weekends of storytelling, yoga, world-class food, relaxation, and a chance to learn, practice, perform, and meet new people. Maybe make a new friend for life!
Both of them could not believe that I was bringing him home today. The doctor told me that they were calling him the miracle cat. It also turns out that Pluto and I have something in common now:. Near-death experiences. Hopefully his last. Thanks for all of the kind words and well wishes. While playing golf, one of my friends explained that years ago, when he and his friends played golf together, they had a rule:.
There are few things I despise more than assumed authority. When you see that student in the fall, please tell him that anyone who has decided that they are the arbiter of wokeness is just a stupid, arrogant, useless jackass. A real waste of a human being. Someone needs to tell them how terrible they are. I thought the idea sounded silly and unnecessary and moved on. A few months later, after our podcast, Speak Up Storytelling , was launched, a listener suggested the same thing. I still thought the idea sounded silly, but by then, I was receiving emails, tweets, and messages via Facebook and Instagram every day from people all over the world who had committed themselves to Homework for Life.
Thousands of storytellers, parents, military personnel, college students, retirees, artists, and more had begun doing Homework for Life after reading my book, hearing me on a podcast, or watching my TED Talk. School teachers began reaching out, telling me that they were using it with their middle and high school students. Even though I still thought that a trademark sounded a little silly, I decided to research the process and determine how difficult and expensive it might be.
So I decided to give it a shot. While I thought I might someday be grateful to own the trademark on Homework for Life, I also thought that pursuing a trademark would be interesting. It might be fun to actually own a trademark in the same way Apple and Pepsi and the New York Yankees owned their trademarks. It was also going to be hard, and I know that choosing the hard thing is almost always the right thing.
One year later, after a great deal of time, effort, and research, I was awarded my trademark. The paperwork and certificate arrived last week. All that time and effort spent in the pursuit of the trademark was instantly forgotten,. Pluto, our almost three year-old cat, had been acting strange for quite a while. For almost a month, he had been peeing in the bathtub and alongside the bathroom sink. But our vet had determined that this was a behavioral problem, so we had begun to take the recommended steps to help him.
We bought a cat fountain to increase his fluid intake. Installed an enormous scratching tree to make him feel safer. Changed his food to prevent crystals in his bladder. When I arrived home a few minutes later, Elysha told me that she had found Pluto in the litter box, unable to move. December 3rd, : FACT: a sufficiently-advanced ghost is indistinguishable from magic December 2nd, : Sherlock Holmes stroked his goatee thoughtfully.
Nearby, a record skipped, making that cool record scratch noise you get when an audience realizes something shocking has happened. December 1st, : please may i hear more about those two chuckleheads who don't like each other but then do, as it sounds like some sparks might fly?? November November 27th, : good morning good morning November 26th, : water: both dord AND weird November 25th, : it's a little thing called "nobody tells me rumours anyway??
November 12th, : you know who talks about you don't know what November 11th, : my name is an anagram for "horny rant" and imagine how great it'd be if it was an anagram for "horny ghost"? October 29th, : print and save! October 28th, : the sun shone, having no alternative, on the very nice boat.
October 27th, : how to write romance stories, or, if you will, "romances" October 23rd, : let us presuppose that in all renditions of deities, unless it is explicitly stated in canon that they do NOT have laser vision, then they absolutely do have laser vision October 22nd, : it's almost hallowe'en! October 8th, : maybe the 15th century artists only reinvented it, maybe the greeks knew about it and we all forgot, maybe maybe maybe October 7th, : "hey thanks for flirting with me!
September 22nd, : tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? So Watson, come back ov-er here, and make these words well-known September 9th, : you wake up in a story feeling fictionalized! Final Harbinger of Chaos, The". Call me "Clawy". August 27th, : this is my submission packet to your favourite celebrity gossip magazine August 26th, : it was just lucky for david that people's minds were printed in English.
August 7th, : also make it so they can forget the name of people right after they've met them, aweeeesommmmme August 6th, : "it was obviously going to happen eventually," sighed sherlock holmes as he stared at his batman costume. August 4th, : i had once been informed that there existed a time once upon which the following events occurred July 30th, : this comic was inspired by my friend anneke who has a VERY similar complaint vis-a-vis wild animals and hugs July 29th, : take my film advice July 21st, : sherlock holmes and the final problem, when sherlock holmes's problems are arranged along an objective timeline July 17th, : does professor science remember that people are asking him questions through the mail?
July 16th, : this started out as an inspirational comic but then hah hah hah NOPE July 15th, : guess the national animal of the country: lions and eagles show up a lot, but zero dinosaurs? July 2nd, : Trees! There are a lot of trees. July 1st, : that's legit super speciesist June June 30th, : i don't know if these are "best" accounting principles, but hey: they're pretty good June 26th, : i am a walking poo factory June 25th, : my arms are covered in scratches from prickly ash and now i'm using them to write a comic that comes out boldly against prickly plants. Or, for that matter, drive a car?
Yes sir, I have my license and registration. June 23rd, : grandmother noooooooo June 19th, : look around at today's kids. June 18th, : did you know: "chew your food so well that there's nothing left that could ever fossilize" was a common expression in dinosaur times?? June 16th, : this comic was inspired by an earlier draft i wrote and then forgot about writing. June 4th, : who would win in a fight: two men in a horse suit or an actual horse?? June 3rd, : a prince dedicates the entire resources of his kingdom to tracking down a peasant and nobody gets rich??
June 2nd, : dinosaur comics always takes place in brightly-lit areas but that's just because i don't need to show off all the time May May 29th, : how to write a scene of quiet contemplation IN ALL CAPS May 28th, : how to sex a write scene May 27th, : for the amount of time i talk about this song this should've been like, dinosaur comic 10 instead of dinosaur comic May 26th, : the reason there's no friction is that the coefficient of friction was reduced to zero for every material, OBVIOUSLY, can we PLEASE move on to howard's early twenties now??
April 29th, : utahraptor playing it off like he's not big into his own feet April 28th, : how to be a pick up artist! April 11th, : it's also what ghosts shout to each other to ramp themselves up before they jump out to spook you April 10th, : "i am, therefore i think" April 9th, : if you play with fire you're a gonna get burned b have a lot of fun with fire c be very popular April 8th, : i don't really think those who are loaded have a particular duty to support artists. I told you to do this already.
So you should already be doing this. March 26th, : i'm just kidding. March 25th, : the kind of monster who wanted to buy a nice sandwich, but not TOO nice a sandwich March 24th, : when i wrote this comic earlier i didn't have a burn on my hand, but now i messed up making dinner and have a burn on my hand! March 20th, : in grade eleven my history teacher, mr.
March 13th, : the league of extraordinary out-of-copyright characters March 12th, : i've learned about international copyright treaties all i can stands, cuz i can't stands n'more! March 11th, : Sherlock stopped smooching to make an announcement. March 3rd, : shouts out to all the artists who got excited in panel 2; i am here working everyday to get you kissed up on.
February February 27th, : In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure February 26th, : they tried to make me write an inspirational comic but i said, no no no February 25th, : still a better oxygen story than "twilight" February 24th, : hello and welcome to Star Trek TNG trivia! February 11th, : if i die let "how many holes do dinosaurs have" be my last google search, the one they run on the news alongside a terrible photo of me taken from facebook years ago February 10th, : did you know if you google "horse facts" you will find websites devoted entirely to facts about horses??
February 6th, : this was gonna be my master's thesis irl, but then i was like, the world is not ready also apparently it SOMEHOW wouldn't expand the horizons of humanity's knowledge, like at all?? February 5th, : "The universe is big. It's vast and complicated and ridiculous. And sometimes, very rarely, impossible things just happen and we call them miracles.
February 4th, : this was going to be a comic about an argument-solving computer but instead i got sidetracked making fun of history, aka January 15th, : Imagine naming your baby "Cruella de Vil". Imagine Mrs de Vil and looking at her baby and naming it "Cruella". December 19th, : andrew hussie and i wrote this comic together so pick your favourite joke and attribute it to ME, thanks in advance December 18th, : trouble at the north pole?!
It's um November 4th, : Maaaaaaaaaaan dad always whispered that I'd be haunted forever if I don't learn from spices October October 31st, : "Wow I can't believe I'm talking to Stephen King! October 29th, : this truly was October 23rd, : oh my god becky her butt is so salt October 22nd, : sure, knock yourself down October 21st, : this is right up there with a cat hanging off a clothesline that says "hang in there, baby!
October 16th, : hello and welcome to fan-spider, the 2 talk show for fans of spider-man. October 15th, : oh shoot, i forgot to mention that slappy pete was slapping everyone in the bar this whole time October 14th, : a spooky tale from the spookyzone, presented by your host, Spooky Spatricia. October 10th, : it goes a little a'something a'like a'this October 9th, : Meanwhile, Brussels sat in his evil lair, his chair spun around so his back was to the door, waiting for Angola Maldives - or anyone - to burst in.
His head lolled as he fell asleep. He wasn't getting any younger. October 8th, : HOWEVER: pitch it as part of an exhibition entitled "being a collection of artifacts from history showing our peoples stumbling towards inventing a holodeck" and i am extremely down. October 7th, : honestly quite happy with my phrase "pornographic sex movie" and intend to use it at every opportunity in the future October 3rd, : if your spell check doesn't think "supergross" is a word, i respectfully suggest that your spellcheck has, up to now, lived a charmed life October 2nd, : this is our first ask professor science since his shirt has been discontinued!
October 1st, : the enterprise: powered by ghosts? September September 30th, : shouts out to the scientists with the spooky names, and i must say, albert einstein, your name is not nearly as spooky as it could've been September 26th, : i'm not mad, i just want to talk. September 25th, : I like my sequential art like I like my performers of stand-up, which is to say that, in general, I do indeed like comics September 24th, : if i die today this will be the comic the tv news will run to sum up my entire life up to this point, and I AM V.
September 18th, : on the other hand, the camera took some terrific landscapes September 17th, : truth and beauty bombs bombs bombs September 16th, : who wants to live forever? I respect you, friend. August 21st, : big into dogs over here. August 20th, : did i start with "damn it, this database gets results" and build an entire comic around that? August 6th, : professor time, your suit has a lot of clocks printed on it and my only question is this: i want one, where'd you get it August 2nd, : i'm the kind of guy who has easy mental access to relatively-obscure corporate founder names July 24th, : YES of COURSE i added all these new words invented here to my spell check dictionary on account of how i'm not a FOOL July 22nd, : every time t-rex calls dromiceiomimus "drotimes" an angel says "haha sweet" and also grows wings July 18th, : where did this problems come from?
July 17th, : i am DTF. That's right! I am Dedicated Towards Friendship! July 16th, : andrew hussie and i discussed making this book a few years ago. July 9th, : i actually don't spend that much time thinking about vampires. July 4th, : was a great year for music. My jokes are okay, and you are liable to laugh a portion of the time. The Goose That Laid the Golden Eggs is among the best known of Aesop's Fables Perry 87 and use of the phrase has become idiomatic of an [excellent scientific investigation] motivated by [the desire to better understand the universe we live in]. June 18th, : today is the day we began June 12th, : babies: people?
June 11th, : you die and go to heaven! June 4th, : party teen bovary June 3rd, : One Hundred THOUSAND Years Of Solitude May May 30th, : yes i did research to get an accurate super mario brothers enemy count, yes i would not just throw numbers like these around willy-nilly May 29th, : two words in, this was gonna be a comic about urban planning before i remembered i don't know much about urban planning May 28th, : i'm kinda really interested in how the last panel would be translated into german May 27th, : what's up my gender-neutral bros May 23rd, : let's assume that every time you load up qwantz.
May 6th, : the telltale heart by edgar allan poe, noted scientist May 2nd, : forget educational horror, the NEW hot genre is sex-shaming erotica May 1st, : marty mcfly is asked to lift a ten-ton weight. April April 30th, : a terrifying zombie story, by me, t-rex. April 16th, : the trick here is that it is ensconced in law that people can have different opinions about plays April 15th, : the bedsheets have batman on them, OF COURSE they have batman on them April 11th, : the day t-rex felt shouty AND horny April 10th, : wait none of these are T-Rexday, we need to start over April 9th, : hey, the 90s called!
April 8th, : once upon a time they all lived happily ever after April 4th, : this summer ONE more time April 3rd, : what would you do if there was one hour left? April 2nd, : welcome to a world where the word "reputation" doesn't exist and everything is understood in terms of corporations April 1st, : this comic is based on that one time i ordered wings. January 30th, : aw man does this mean we missed a comic on where babies come from?? January 15th, : everyone please insist that "pecs" is an acronym from now on, please, please just do this one thing January 14th, : the purr-fect dog.
November 26th, : "i'm addressing myself while i'm dressing myself in a dress for myself" November 23rd, : hello and thank you for installing an internet! Pretty much all of it I think.
Story Time at The Strand
November 14th, : Angola, perhaps there's been some confusion. I'm afraid my name's "Lady I. Amasexhaver", not "Lady I. October 10th, : travel over chasms would be super convenient for the athletic blind October 9th, : nude dude tudes October 8th, : boat dinosaur boat comics October 4th, : should've wished for more wishes, grahams October 3rd, : "dreaming non-fiction" is a nice way to write "even while sleeping, i obsess over past mistakes" October 2nd, : love! September 13th, : "william shakespeare was an excellent writer guy" - famed canadian author ryan north September 12th, : you can argue that clark is merely superman suffering a psychotic break and pretending he doesn't have powers, begging for relief from the constant shouting of planet earth and a silence that will never come, but that's - that's awful.
August 21st, : plausible origins of common phrases for the very credulous August 20th, : SPOILER ALERT: the green you see is what i could describe as more of an emeraldy honeydew with elements of teal and shamrock August 16th, : "stove and frig included"?? July 24th, : real answer: this has happened several times in the past, but in each instance the International Olympic Committee sued the new "Brain Olympics" so hard that they literally got erased from the timeline July 23rd, : guys i am getting really excited for part of what's happening in london soon July 19th, : Peter didn't even need his lungs!
Can any of us truly say the same?? June 11th, : boy i sure hope you read other webcomics beyond my own June 8th, : you know that awesome book everyone suspects was ghost-written? May 7th, : this is like the seventh "buy the sun" comic i've started; mom, dad, i want you to know, i think i'm May 3rd, : so i'm still getting emails about "lazers", but i've used the word in the comic three times before!
LETHAL April April 30th, : i wrote this comic at the airport and i wasn't even around any dogs, SO THERE April 27th, : this is based on a true story that happened to me, if this dude is out there let me say: i still don't really speak polish, lol, : April 26th, : i warned you about newton's third law of motion bro I TOLD YOU April 25th, : if you learn one thing from dinosaur comics, let it be that the cloaca is their shared digestive, urinary, and reproductive tract. April 9th, : at an adventure time panel at a convention i was asked to rap and t-rex's words in panel one are basically one i came up with.
April 4th, : who here wants to make out? April 3rd, : i call this comic "the script for a comic that i found slipped under my pillow after a night out when the house should've been empty the entire time. March 29th, : zoom! I feel bad about it sometimes March 22nd, : there's nothing in the poorly-translated rules that came with this dollar store chess set about this, and I'm afraid here I must defer to the authority of my friend the poorly-translated dollar store chess set March 21st, : a word is worth 0. March 12th, : hey, mind if i ask you a question?
Oh my gosh, it's so great to get this out in the open. February 7th, : today's dinosaur comic is brought to you by: the letter t February 6th, : i know there are poets who love my comic. February 3rd, : this comic was inspired by a dream, but not my dream! February 1st, : this comic was inspired by a twitter post that i myself made! January 26th, : gentlewomen get way more awesome hats anyway, where are My hats with aviaries on top January 25th, : that's so mamihlapinatapai January 24th, : space-galactic: galactic, but now, in space January 23rd, : there's a character in the bible called "Gad".
AND Gad and God appear in the same scenes. AND there's actually two characters named "Gad", and one character names his son "Gad" after he already knows God is a guy in the story! MY QUESTION: who wrote this January 20th, : one draft had t-rex going back to tudor england and telling shakespeare it's possible he wrote zombie fiction but we lost it, and shakespeare says "what do you think Love's Labour Won was about? Let us know in the comments!
January 12th, : thanks to boorishly p. January 6th, : if you're wondering about the other 5 Worthies, i'll tell you all you need to know: there's no dinosaurs on the list, talking OR otherwise January 5th, : DID YOU KNOW: the more i really think about the phrase "brain teaser" the more i find it gross nasty January 4th, : writing is easy, anyone who tells you otherwise has never written erotic fiction for character named "antonio t.
December 20th, : god says "xmas" and i don't know why December 19th, : sometimes the wacky jerk will interrupt the music to brag to you about how he's not interrupting the music. December 16th, : panel six can be used as an emergency ejection seat on any conversation you don't want to have; it is my gift to you December 15th, : IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME THEN IN REAL LIFE you might get mad which is a teachable moment for being a good sport December 14th, : the scottish plagiarism December 13th, : when i "read" linguistic papers what i'm doing is private December 12th, : no actually in real life watching someone sleep is about the creepiest thing you can do, i mean, assuming you're doing it by standing motionless just outside their window December 9th, : i considered "Linear Holographic Russian Nesting Dolls", but the Matryoshka dolls already imply linearity in exactly the same way as the word, so we are SET.
December 8th, : New shirt idea: "Ladies! Are you a mammal? I'm not sure ladies will respond well to that. December 6th, : it behoves me to assure you that panel 2 is actually grammatical December 5th, : My emergency kit contains good intentions and the fact that who ever remembers to makes an emergency kit NOT ME December 2nd, : T-Rex had a burn comparing CSS underline markup to Java in terms of loquaciousness, but as much as I'd love to rap with the word "loquaciousness", previous loquaciousness ensured that there just wasn't enough room.
November 16th, : i wrote this comic several years ago and just found it now, and sometimes, when you ask an author the theme of something, they'll only say that they wrote this comic several years ago and just found it now November 15th, : FUN FACT: last night andrew hussie and i ate - nay, DINED - at the most Olive of Gardens November 14th, : don't be barefoot steppin' November 11th, : i used "thon" in an actual email yesterday and it felt - it felt RIGHT. And there's an even bigger morgue next door, filled with the bodies of everyone you've killed in the game!
Turns out they all had families! Who knew! October 5th, : many collections of such music are produced and sold by Time Wife Music? October 3rd, : this is me alienating all the loch ness monsters in my audience just as chris hastings of dr mcninja dot com has alienated all his draculas September September 30th, : t-rex is using the rhetorical 'you' here, not referring to utahraptor specifically.
September 29th, : sometimes i imagine my life where i write the same comics i've been writing, but instead of publishing them online i put them in a big stack, or, you know, wallpaper my house with them and never invite anyone over. McNinja" Hastings offered to help me with it, so I read him the first three panels and he stared at me and said "I think you've got your own thing going, buddy" and we never spoke of it again September 22nd, : it has remained unpatched since first self-reported in by Tim Berners-Lee September 21st, : one of my favourite baseball memories is having to play it with a glove on my wrong hand, so that when i did catch a ball I had to throw it with my weak hand, which resulted in a throw so pathetic that even i was laughing at how ridiculous it was.
DO IT. September 8th, : What has four legs in the morning, etc, anyway it's Vin Diesel. August 19th, : " July 28th, : what's the difference between a webcartoonist and a dick joke? July 27th, : I guess you could say that they now really had become July 26th, : tl;dr: i met someone who has the exact same name as a cat i know July 22nd, : i took all these kitchen phrases from the top of my head and i am concerned that i have NO IDEA how they got there July 21st, : originally the last line of this comic was "let's get burgers right now instead", but that sounded like "let's get burgers" could be used like "let's get crazy", which is awesome and which i wanted to keep ALL FOR MYSELF July 20th, : mr tusks i will try to be the bigger man here July 19th, : if you are a superhero named "super muncher and destroyer" then don't use this comic because panel 2 totally gives away your identity, but really, what kind of a superhero name is that July 18th, : if you read this comic and sighed too, don't worry, sharks don't know how to get emails and getting emails is badass too, right?
July 15th, : perhaps a better way to phrase this is, who would win in a fight: a dinosaur or a non-dinosaur? July 14th, : if you don't like "internet" being used as a non-singleton, then oh boy are you cheezed after reading THIS comic huh?? July 13th, : today joey and i fly back to toronto to resume our lives! July 12th, : if you're wondering about "down in florida to see the final space shuttle launch" updates, today joey and i worked in our hotel room and had a quiet lunch at a pretty nice restaurant July 11th, : i wrote this comic after seeing the last space shuttle launch with my own two eyes, and it was awesome, but unfortunately there were no last-minute thing where they rushed me and joey on board as substitute astronauts July 8th, : today in orlando joey comeau and i ate at ihop and shot machine guns and had naps and went bowling.
July 7th, : let's hear it for auditory senses July 6th, : i am posting this comic at an airport at 2 am! June 27th, : fun fact: "just watch me for the changes and try to keep up" was what trudeau was going to say in full when he said "just watch me" and that's not even plausible what am i even doing here June 24th, : kinda wish i called this whole comic series "later, t-rex meets a real wizard"; today's panel six would've been a Really Big Deal June 23rd, : the first two panels double as ten different ways to meet a new friend-with-benefits, as well as ten different places to dump your existing one.
June 22nd, : pretty god-centric lyrics to jams back then, they were all "this jam is amplified by church bells , so just glide and let your backbone slide into church " June 21st, : THIS party THIS party is rockin' June 20th, : 1 fan of okay times over here June 16th, : so tired of dropping anvils on my toes, need a plan in place at least for novel cusses in this situation June 15th, : this comic inspired by actual justin bieber rubber bands i saw, and also by a moment seconds later in which i did manage to improve on reality, simply by closing my eyes.
June 14th, : i bet competent rappers don't write too many comics about incompetent rappers, huh June 13th, : who was the third person? June 10th, : i thought "everybody independently somehow" was kind of an awkward way to begin a sentence, so i did a google search and nobody had ever said it on the internet before!
June 8th, : alive skeletons are attacking us? Messages like this are but ONE of the many pleasures, subtle and nuanced, that wait for you within my eponymous "feed" June 6th, : only now, writing the archive text to this comic, do i realize how well this idea applies to dinosaur comics as a whole. June 2nd, : this really means all writing ever is meant to take place in my fictional dinosaur comics world. June 1st, : i keep restraining myself from making a "literally impossible" pun in one of these here literary technique comics May May 31st, : batman's t-rex story: "guys, i put him in my lair" May 30th, : i don't believe t-rex's echo worked that great in panel 2, i will have words with him about ever doing THAT again.
May 27th, : alternatively, why would i add you after only meeting you once? May 25th, : i'm tempted to start a choose-your-own-adventure book that harangues the reader like this! A Terrible Lizards Picto-Narrative May 13th, : for the world is hollow and i have noclipped the sky May 12th, : i've already gotten emails asking for a "vitamin s" sequel but i'm not sure i can capture the raw, uncut, freebased storytelling brilliance of the original??
May 11th, : so it turned out vitamin s WAS wearing a spacesuit, so she could survive in space. Goooossssh May 6th, : let's ignore the difference between geological, magnetic, geomagnetic, instantaneous and political north poles and focus instead on the homey sign in t-rex's kitchen: "not necessarily tacos, but tacos if necessary" May 5th, : by reading this secret text, you have added "DIRECTOR'S CUTTERS" to your inventory.
April April 29th, : Portal and Portal 2 are like the saddest games ever for this very reason. Stupid reality, stupid physics, stupid non-existence of holodeck programs that I can live inside with everyone else where portals are real April 28th, : compressed song comics: the dinosaur comics that assume we ALL know the same music April 27th, : give me some credit: i didn't find out about pornocracies from the wikipedia random article button. April 14th, : incredible moments in history starring t-rex the dinosaur t.
April 5th, : i had a dream last night where my wife got kidnapped, then i had a dream where my friends and i tracked down the kidnapper and rescued her! I could wear a moustache! Sexy Steve has a moustache, you understand. March 22nd, : this text was originally just going to be the word, but then I thought, no, no, it's better if they stumbled across it on their own March 21st, : alternate boat name: the SS But We Mustn't March 18th, : but what if you trip March 16th, : if i call this comic "how to ultimate sexy" will it be blocked by your work internet filter?
March 2nd, : that's right, t-rex is imagining "later". March 1st, : read properly, this comic may last you the rest of your life. February 25th, : kinda a sequel to my abstruse comic of march 31st, , a mere 2 months into this dinosaur comics jazzamohol February 24th, : "help i'm in nigeria and got robbed and shortly afterwards discovered 15 million dollars in unclaimed funds i definitely need to steal; you guys, it has been an interesting day" February 23rd, : utahraptor: my day just got filled up February 22nd, : old-timey stereotypes confirmed: crazy food, old-world decadance, a strange idea of what's fancy, and everything is trying to kill you February 18th, : feel free to say that last line during your day today; time travelers around you from the past will trip all the balls when they hear it February 17th, : there's actually tons of competing companies and predictions, utahraptor, so we're going to have to work several jobs in parallel to make this dream - this future - a reality.
January 27th, : "Sure! But you probably find something in me that's worthwhile! Either that or you think I'm super hot and like having me around to stare at. January 20th, : i have friends in real life who have rejected the nickname "ginger peanut". We're way too big to even get on them. It's definitely a head scratcher for sure. January 7th, : this comic should not be taken as actual incitement to kill billionaires and train their children, dinosaur comics international hereby comes down strongly in favour of living January 6th, : GLRPE TM MMXI January 5th, : real astronomers say our sun won't ever be a red dwarf.
January 4th, : dinosaurs were around for million years, so we can expect they had at least SIX dinosaur batmans, and we can expect our first batman by the year 24,, January 3rd, : you'll notice those backhairs when they're big enough to show up in these sequential photographs i'm posting every day December December 24th, : 8, hours of minecraft and civ, no regrets December 23rd, : On Christmas Eve it turns out T-Rex actually got thoughtful gifts for everyone! And Utahraptor didn't just get him a Batman train either.
December 20th, : written to beethoven symphony 5, first movement, allegro con brio December 17th, : wait, no! These rough notes and our dead bodies must tell the tale. December 9th, : dinosaur comics. December 8th, : arguably, the word "explosive" is autological if you form it out of sticks of tnt. December 7th, : every time i mention that the dinosaurs are naked i think, "aha! From now on, these are not Dinosaur Comics. Call them: Northotype Multi-graphetric Jokeotropes.
I can't just dehirsutify. October 27th, : proportions of coloured males is stable in the long term, but fluctuates quite a bit in the short term, as the different tribes adopt different strategies. October 20th, : some people think t-rex having a birthday means the end of history. October 19th, : i assure you second place remains first loser; once again i am forced to reiterate: NO FEAR October 18th, : "i hope you do because oh snap! How Come I Can't Nominate Myself, Nobody Knows My Accomplishments Better Is The Thing October 8th, : how about you call your play "knaves ahoy", i will pay you of what you'd call futurebux if you call it "knaves ahoy" October 7th, : It clearly specified that participation today is mandatory.
September 27th, : anyone who says they never tell a lie is lying to themselves at a preconscious level as their brain delays and misrepresents asynchronous inputs as a time-consistent stream. September 20th, : guest comic by KC Green of gunshowcomic. September 17th, : guest comic by Anthony Clark of nedroid. September 15th, : hey, what do my hands look like right now? August August 31st, : the sinister forces that control the world are actually just one super needy guy August 30th, : this comic inspired by my good friend joey comeau, who when he lived with me was mr "candy and red bull for breakfast, candy and red bull for lunch, all-you-can-eat buffet of tummyaches, regret and recriminations for dinner" August 27th, : how to bluff your way through every dinosaur comic: JUST LAUGH, OKAY??
August 25th, : if internal pluralization was a woman i would date her; i can't be the only one thinking this; i can't be the only one writing those words all over the ceiling August 24th, : replace "conversation" with "convention" and the comic still totally works, but it does raise some questions as to how you got yourself into that sticky wicket in the first place August 23rd, : parties topped out 65 million years ago, sorry to break it to you but second place remains first loser. August 17th, : in my day, i confess, i have stepped on a bunch of stuff August 16th, : "I finally only woke up when I dreamt about a man who dared to call himself Well, it's gone now.
I'm sure it wasn't important. August 14th, : guest comic: jeff rowland of overcompensating. August 13th, : guest comic: zach weiner of smbc-comics. August 12th, : guest comic: sam logan of samandfuzzy.
List of unproduced Disney animated shorts and feature films
August 11th, : guest comic: wes and tony of of amazingsuperpowers. August 10th, : guest comic: jeph jacques of questionablecontent. August 9th, : guest comic: joel watson of hijinksensue. August 7th, : special comic by anthony clark of nedroid. August 5th, : guest comic: john allison of badmachinery.
August 4th, : it also means that my dad met me and decided i WASN'T a dud and that he totally had to make me happen August 3rd, : for t-rex the difference between a "will" and a "final wish" is that the final wish is something you tell people well in advance but never write down. July 29th, : like most everyone with a titanic story, I made a "Britannic" sequel. If they have, I certainly don't want to know about it.
We haven't run out of history quite yet. July 8th, : "Explosions have been going off across town, and nobody knows who to blame. A neighbour volunteers some theories based mainly on his own prejudices. June 25th, : today is "wear your dinosaur comics shirt and interesting people will talk to you day", it's going to be AWESOME June 24th, : okay t-rex's writing is bad but i am sincerely happy with the idea of the year being "the future we remember".
June 23rd, : it makes calls AND makes my opinions towards cellphone users inconsistent! June 22nd, : i have done some Quick Photoshop Work and determined that it is possible for t-rex to pick his nose. OH WELL June 10th, : songs listened to while writing this comic: martha tom waits , if rap gets jealous k'naan , around the corner sarah harmer. June 8th, : anyway, the feeling t-rex was feeling was "shame cheeseburger related " June 7th, : anyway it was that guy from that one shampoo commercial they show June 4th, : ultimate baby ultimately prefers ungendered pronouns June 3rd, : can you imagine a more boring name for software than "windows for workgroups"?
May 28th, : always really reluctant to remix a previous comic but in this case it involves burgers, and who doesn't never not dislike liking burgers?? May 27th, : 6. May 26th, : after i wrote this comic i realized hummingbirds are basically like the movie "crank". May 19th, : a new way of using the panels! UPDATE: it is also tasty friggin' times April April 29th, : dude, my nostalgia's so deep that mine canaries are dying of old age before they reach the bottom of it April 28th, : panel four is unusual in that the dialogue you're supposed to read first is at the right side of the panel, but the comic works no matter which order you read that panel's dialogue in.
If you guessed "every" then you have won this game April 22nd, : i said to joey comeau, "what is the best date? April 21st, : this comic was inspired by a dude joey and i saw yesterday. April 16th, : it matches up so well that i'm kinda wondering if old-school vampire stories weren't really just jerks picking on the local OCD kid who only came out at night. April 8th, : based on the time when a bat smashed through my window, startling me from my dark musing April 7th, : this comic will appear insane to anyone unfamiliar with dinosaur comics. April 5th, : if you're unfamiliar with the concept of personal branding, it's like the personality you already have, only it's fake, manipulative, and everyone who is not in the business of selling personal branding finds it crass.
March 25th, : originally in panel 4 utahraptor said "So you're always right by being as conservative as possible!