Love & Relationships: 40 Ways to Show You Care
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It is so saddening to see how everywhere there are suggestions for parents to teach their children respect and values. Parents alone cannot teach children things. Yes, it is first parents' responsibility but at the end of the day, surroundings come into play. Social media which can make terrible memes go viral and people who modernize arrogance are more responsible for any behaviour we see among children. No parents would like to see their once cute and kind child become arrogant. Show love and respect and obey them as much as possible.
Some 20 years ago or so, parents used to be so stubborn about their principles that it was very difficult to obey them, but these days most parents are sensible in what they expect from us. Even if you differ from their opinions, you can still talk to them. Believe that everything they do is for you, no one else in the world loves you as much as them, no one else would want the best for you more than them. The only barrier you have in helping your relationship get better with your parents is YOU. Now that you have decided to get along with them better, nothing else is in your way. Know that at any time in your life, regardless of what has happened in the past, your parents have their arms open for you.
Trust me! Even more than you, your parents long to have a good relationship with you. Express love and respect. I have mentioned some simple ways to express love to parents on a regular basis in my article. Do not feel shy to do all these little things out of the blue. In the beginning, it may look weird or fake or whatever but you know what, no one cares. As long as your goal is sincere, you are doing the best thing anybody can do on the earth. God loves you for this and may He help you always. Well, the article "40 simple ways to show respect to parents" answers your question in a detailed manner.
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If you have not read the article check it on my profile page articles listing. Or you are asking the question because you feel it difficult to follow keep in mind that you have to respect them at least the way you do to your boss or professor or maybe that cool uncle around neighbors, only with a little patience and much love. To add to it, I say respect them the way you would want your children to respect you. Follow the tips in the article and more from what your heart says and keep doing it until you make it a habit.
I know it could be awkward just to start doing things like kissing their forehead when you have been away for a long time. But, it will feel natural if you keep doing it for some time. I do not know what you are guilty of and how intense your guilt is. I assume it is something you are afraid to tell your parents. But, if the truth will come out sometime anyway it is better to tell it by yourself.
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Be honest about everything and show how bad you feel for being guilty. Show how much you regret and ask them for their opinion about what can be done to make things right. Promise yourself and promise your parents that you will not repeat the mistake in future, neither will you hide things from them. You want them to trust on you again and you can do this only and only by telling the truth.
So be honest to yourself and to them, tell them the truth, express your guilt, promise that you wont repeat the mistake, and never hide things again. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.
Thanks for the help it will help me to do my project and also to care for my parents. Thank you so much Kenneth. Thank you so much Kenneth! You are always a great help. I will make sure to follow your advice next and every time I write.
Dear Sherry -- dear friend, I loved this hub. It was very true as well as very helpful. And this is not anything critical, but keep your text the way that it is now: Easy to understand. But make no mistake. And you were NOT talking over your followers or those on the Internet. Just be you when you write. Thank you so much, Kenneth. It means a lot. I hope to keep writing and learning about this beautiful art more. Dear Sherry H. And this hub is more than tremendous. Especially the call-out by Billy Graham. Great work. I understand what you are suffering from. I know this is hard but you have to constantly tell your mind that parents if not the only ones, are the ones who wish the best for you.
Even when the world and whatever is in it hates you they are going to stand by your side. They can be normal human beings and tell you off sometimes for not delivering what they expect from you. But, this never means they are not there for you. Fake it till you believe it. I believe in unconditional love, hope you do to. Start loving them unconditionally like how you love a baby just born. You dont call the baby cute because you are mean, you actually know he is.
Likewise count on your parents. I am 21 but a super over-thinker I can totally understand sometimes we want to be mean to our parents because we feel they are mean to us. It is because the society you know. We dont care where they are coming from. All we want is someone to fulfill our wishes and love us no matter what. But, this is not how things go. Our parents are surrounded by mountains of troubles that they are hiding from us. If we cannot look through them and their troubles we can at least on our part trust them because even if we think they are mean to us we do not want to be mean ypto them in return.
You bothered because you think you are mean to your parents when talking to them is a sign that you love them and ready to go out of your way to make things right.
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So just do it. Fake the fact that you were ever mean. Tell yourself that you were always a good son and will continue to love them forever. It's hard for children to move on from any bad they received from their own parents. But then, children for their own sake should forgive and forget the past and try to rebuild a stronger connection. This is a good list for most people to follow. I have an addition: Forgive your parents for what they did.
It is not right to abuse children or abandon them or hurt them. Find a way to Forgive by understanding they must hurt more than they hurt you. Mental Illness is easily forgiven because they were born with a disease. Their problems were only Projected onto you and are Not your problems. Do not follow an example of abuse with your own children. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners.
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Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so. Sherry Haynes more. How often do we tell our parents we love them? How often do we show them our love? Here are some simple ways of showing love to parents. Stay away from phones or business stuff in their presence. While they speak listen with attention and show your presence in the conversation. Ask them for advice. Look up to them.
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Try to see things from their perspective and understand where they are coming from. Do your parents credit. Have good news? Share with them. Do not share bad events. Respect friends of your parents, meet them, invite them for dinner. Listen to things they repeat as if you are listening to them for the first time. Avoid arrogant behaviour and haughty gestures. Never complain. Do not tell off your kids in their presence. That is disrespectful. Like how you don't do that in the presence of your boss.
Follow their advice and orders, be obedient as much as possible. They deserve it. If you have them to go to, only look for their advice and opinions. Do not raise your tone more than theirs. While walking along do not rush nor move ahead of them. Do not start eating before they're served. Most of the men who had practiced resisting temptation stayed away from the rooms with attractive women; but among men who had not practiced resistance, two out of three gravitated toward the temptation room.
But if you worry you might be vulnerable to temptation on a business trip, practice resistance by reminding yourself the steps you will take to avoid temptation and protect your relationship.
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Picture Your Beloved. We all know that sometimes the more you try to resist something -- like ice cream or a cigarette -- the more you crave it. Relationship researchers say the same principle can influence a person who sees a man or woman who is interested in them. The more you think about resisting the person, the more tempting he or she becomes. Focus on loving thoughts and the joy of your family, not sexual desire for your spouse -- the goal here is to damp down the sex drive, not wake it up.
Keep Your Relationship Interesting. Scientists speculate that your level of commitment may depend on how much a partner enhances your life and broadens your horizons — a concept that Dr. To measure this quality, couples are asked a series of questions: How much does your partner provide a source of exciting experiences? How much has knowing your partner made you a better person? How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
The Stony Brook researchers conducted experiments using activities that stimulated self-expansion. Some couples were given mundane tasks, while others took part in a silly exercise in which they were tied together and asked to crawl on mats, pushing a foam cylinder with their heads. The study was rigged so the couples failed the time limit on the first two tries, but just barely made it on the third, resulting in much celebration. Couples were given relationship tests before and after the experiment.
Those who had taken part in the challenging activity posted greater increases in love and relationship satisfaction than those who had not experienced victory together. The researchers theorize that couples who explore new places and try new things will tap into feelings of self-expansion, lifting their level of commitment. Every couple has disagreements, but science shows that how two people argue has a big effect on both their relationships and their health.
Many people try their best to avoid conflict, but relationship researchers say every conflict presents an opportunity to improve a relationship. The key is to learn to fight constructively in a way that leaves you feeling better about your partner. Marriage researcher John Gottman has built an entire career out of studying how couples interact.
He learned that even in a laboratory setting, couples are willing to air their disagreements even when scientists are watching and the cameras are rolling. In one important study, Dr. Gottman and his colleagues observed newly married couples in the midst of an argument. In many ways, this is great news for couples because it gives you a place to focus. The most important moments between you and your partner during a conflict are those first few minutes when the fight is just getting started. Focus on your behavior during that time, and it likely will change the dynamics of your relationship for the better.
Identify the complaint, not the criticism. Do you think you could find a way to help more on those nights? Think about pronouns. Be aware of body language. No eye-rolling, which is a sign of contempt. Look at your partner when you speak. No folded arms or crossed legs to show you are open to their feelings and input.
Sit or stand at the same level as your partner -- one person should not be looking down or looking up during an argument. Learn to De-escalate: When the argument starts getting heated, take it upon yourself to calm things down. Here are some phrases that are always useful in de-escalation:. Gottman reminds us that fighting with your partner is not a bad thing. After all his years of studying conflict, Dr. You just need to make sure you get the beginning right so the discussion can be constructive instead of damaging.
A famous study of cardiovascular health conducted in Framingham, Mass. Women said issues involving children, housework and money created the most problems in their relationships. Men said their arguments with their spouse usually focused on sex, money and leisure time. Even though the lists were slightly different, the reality is that men and women really care about the same issues: money, how they spend their time away from work housework or leisure and balancing the demands of family life children and sex. Studies show that money is consistently the most common reason for conflict in a relationship.
Couples with financial problems and debt create have higher levels of stress and are less happy in their relationship. Why does money cause conflict? Fights about money ultimately are not really about finances. A person who overspends on restaurants, travel and fun stuff often wants to live in the moment and seek new adventures and change; a saver hoping to buy a house some day may most value stability, family and community. Money conflict can be a barometer for the health of your relationship and an indicator that the two of you are out of sync on some of your most fundamental values.
David Olson, professor emeritus at the University of Minnesota, studied 21, couples and identified five questions you can ask to find out if you are financially compatible with your partner. Olson found that the happiest couples were those who both agreed with at least four of the statements. He also found that couples who did not see eye to eye on three or more of the statements were more likely to score low on overall marital happiness.
Debt tends to be the biggest culprit in marital conflict. It can be an overwhelming source of worry and stress. As a result, couples who can focus on money problems and reduce their debt may discover that they have also solved most of their marital problems. Surveys suggest secret spending occurs in one out of three committed relationships. Shopping for clothes, spending money on a hobby and gambling are the three most-cited types of secret spending that causes conflict in a relationship.
The key is to agree on the amount of discretionary money you each have and then stay quiet when your partner buys the newest iPhone just because. Invest in the relationship. When you do have money to spend, spend it on the relationship. Take a trip, go to dinner, see a show. Spending money on new and shared experiences is a good investment in your partnership. One of the more uncomfortable findings of relationship science is the negative effect children can have on previously happy couples.
Despite the popular notion that children bring couples closer, several studies have shown that relationship satisfaction and happiness typically plummet with the arrival of the first baby. One study from the University of Nebraska College of Nursing looked at marital happiness in men and women. Scores declined starting in pregnancy , and remained lower as the children reached 5 months and 24 months. Other studies show that couples with two children score even lower than couples with one child.
While having a child clearly makes parents happy, the financial and time constraints can add stress to a relationship. After the birth of a child, couples have only about one-third the time alone together as they had when they were childless, according to researchers from Ohio State.
So there you have it. The secret to surviving parenthood is to have lots of sex, be faithful and be generous toward your partner. Here are some suggestions for how to strengthen your relationship based on the findings of various studies. Are you generous toward your partner? How often do you express affection? Or do small things for your partner like bring them coffee? Finding a partner who makes your life more interesting is an important factor in sustaining a long relationship. Gary W.
Lewandowski Jr. Take this quiz to measure how much your relationship expands your knowledge and makes you feel good about yourself. Lewandowski says. How thoughtfully couples make decisions can have a lasting effect on the quality of their romantic relationships. Couples who are decisive before marriage — intentionally defining their relationships, living together and planning a wedding — appear to have better marriages than couples who simply let inertia carry them through major transitions. Rhoades , a relationship researcher at the University of Denver and co-author of the report.
Many couples living together, for instance, did not sit down and talk about cohabitation. Showing intent in some form — from planning the first date, to living together, to the wedding and beyond — can help improve the quality of a marriage over all. Stanley said. Sometimes couples become so focused on the relationship that they forget to invest in their relationships with friends and family.
Researchers Naomi Gerstel of the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, and Natalia Sarkisian of Boston College have found that married couples have fewer ties to relatives than the unmarried. They are less likely to visit, call or help out family members, and less likely to socialize with neighbors and friends.
The problem with this trend is that it places an unreasonable burden and strain on the marriage, says Stephanie Coontz, who teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. To strengthen a marriage, consider asking less of it , suggests Dr. That means leaning on other family members and friends for emotional support from time to time. It sounds silly, but research suggests that seeing a sappy relationship movie made in Hollywood can help couples work out problems in the real world. Obviously, talking about a movie is not going to solve significant problems in a marriage, but the findings do signal the importance of communication in a marriage and finding opportunities to talk about your differences.
Rogge , an associate professor of psychology at the University of Rochester and the lead author of the study. The best movies to start constructive communication are those that show various highs and lows in a relationship. A series of personal questions used by the psychologist Arthur Aron to explore the idea of fostering closeness through mutual vulnerability. Balancing the housework, fighting fairly and setting yourself up for success: Tara Parker-Pope answered your questions about love and relationships. Tara Parker-Pope is the founding editor of Well, an award-winning consumer health site with news and features to help readers live well every day.
Twitter: nytimeswell. Save for Later. Love and Romance Falling in love is the easy part. Diagnose Your Passion Level The psychology professor Elaine Hatfield has suggested that the love we feel early in a relationship is different than what we feel later. Assessment The Passionate Love Quiz Think of the person you love most passionately now, and answer the questions. Sex For most couples, the more sex they have, the happier the relationship. The average sexual encounter lasts about 30 minutes. About 5 percent of people have sex at least three times a week.
People in their 20s have sex more than 80 times per year. People in their 40s have sex about 60 times a year. Sex drops to 20 times per year by age After the age of 25, sexual frequency declines 3. After controlling for age and time period, those born in the s had sex the most often; people born in the s millennials had sex the least often.
About 20 percent of people, most of them widows, have been celibate for at least a year. The typical married person has sex an average of 51 times a year. Married people under 30 have sex about times a year; single people under 30 have sex about 69 times a year. Married people in their 40s have sex 69 times a year; single people in their 40s have sex 50 times a year. Active people have more sex. People who drink alcohol have 20 percent more sex than teetotalers. Early and Often One of the best ways to make sure your sex life stays robust in a long relationship is to have a lot of sex early in the relationship.
The No-Sex Marriage Why do some couples sizzle while others fizzle? Here are some of the steps therapists recommend to get a sexless marriage back in the bedroom: Talk to each other about your desires. Have fun together and share new experiences to remind yourself how you fell in love. Hold hands. The body responds with a flood of brain chemicals and other changes that can help. A Prescription for a Better Sex Life If your sex life has waned, it can take time and effort to get it back on track. Make time for sex: Busy partners often say they are too busy for sex, but interestingly, really busy people seem to find time to have affairs.
The fact is, sex is good for your relationship. Make it a priority. Talk: Ask your partner what he or she wants. Surprisingly, this seems to be the biggest challenge couples face when it comes to rebooting their sex lives. Now, sit down with your partner so that each of you can write down five things you want more of during sex with your partner. Ideally, your answers should focus on behaviors you desire -- being talkative, romantic, tender, experimental or adventurous.
The Sex Is Not. Well, Only Once a Month. Better Sleep for a Better Sex Life In a study, each extra hour of sleep corresponded to an increase in the likelihood of sexual activity the next day. Well Get the best of Well, with the latest on health, fitness and nutrition, delivered to your inbox twice a week. Your email address Sign Up. Staying Faithful Men and women can train themselves to protect their relationships and raise their feelings of commitment. Can You Predict Infidelity? Protect Your Relationship 1.